I’m surprised you’re still here, because I didn’t think I would be either.
It’s been nearly two years since I have started sharing my most inner thoughts, feelings, stories and emotions, placed them in the most un-private way possible and wait for reactions off strangers, family, friends and internet stalkers (don’t worry… I love you just as much!) to respond to well… a very vulnerable Martha.
Why did I start blogging? I think initially it was a very extrinsic motive. I wanted to get free food, free samples maybe earn some money? I laugh so much now…. If I could tell my past self how silly and small minded that reason was, I would have given myself a big slap! I didn’t think I would actually gain something further beyond that materialistic reward. It’s been much (much) more rewarding.
I read back my early entries I made, my style of writing has completely changed. I can see myself grow through the internet. I sounded unconfident in my writing. I wanted to say more, but struggled to express or use the right phrases. I struggled to connect to the story, because inside I wasn’t ready to share. Worried of judgement, fear of embarrassment, it’s been a personal growth that has been seen from my own eyes as well as readers who have been with me for the journey. I am strong mentally to tell stories that are my most lowest moments, vulnerable and sometimes don’t reflect the best version of myself.
Simply Martha has made me feel okay to be myself. I actually like who she is. Is that okay to say?
A persona that is still myself, but I can also disconnect with too.
Sometimes it’s not about why you started, its where you end up. Blogging has given me a voice. I can share opinions, stories and true antidotes that a lot of people can relate to, but often don’t find it easy to come across (online or in person!). it’s actually helped me understand my own thoughts and put them down which means I can process them easily. As someone who finds their own emotions hard to read sometimes, this has helped in a way I didn’t even now it could.
I’ve said before, it’s ironic because I am actually a very private person. That I wanted to share something so personal and precious that reveals a lot about myself on a platform where ANYONE can read it. I write personal stories, because I am (in a nutshell) Simply, Martha. The uniqueness I may have about life I like to phrase and word in a way that is simple and can be understood by anyone. So really, when reading something complicated or something you cannot actually relate to, I like to think the reader says ‘well that’s just simply, Martha’.
Another title of my blog was going to be ‘Martha’s World’. A lot of people said ‘I would love to live in your world, Martha’. I saw, see, live in a different world to most. As I started blogging more, sharing myself more. It became clear that a world where I live, I think others would like too. However the reasons behind my outlook on life haven’t came from an easy background. I don’t want it to just be my world, I want to find a community of others that share the same view on life as me, hence why ‘Martha’s World’ didn’t stay. (another name was going to be Nutrition with Norris or The Fit Foodie).
I have worked hard on my mental health to be here. Again, something I have also found a confidence and a passion for is writing about mental health. My original intention for Simply Martha was to be exclusive to food, fitness and some travel (TRAVEL?!? I know… I still laugh now!). Now, I think my favourite thing to talk about is mental health and why? BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN THERE! First hand, got the t-shirt and souvenir mug and being the tour guide for everyone else around the museum that is mental health. Although I have still got such a long journey of my own mental health, I know that the events that have already experienced are something worth sharing for others that may not know what is happening in their own mental health journey’s yet.
I even thought the concept of blogging was really outdated too. Who blogs anymore? Surely that’s what twitter is for? The platform and the persona of Simply Martha means I can write more freely without worry for interfering with others. If you want to read it, it’s there. If you don’t, then I haven’t put myself in that position where it is easy for others to judge me.
I’m so happy I did this! Not only has it helped with how I feel, I share something that other people will feel (not everyone, but a lot) and in a time where you can feel so alone, Simply Martha is there for anyone at any time. I have a space where I can speak about exactly how I feel. I share moments of my life I didn’t think I would want to share or re-live them. However, I needed to do this for me (trying not to be too selfish!) but this has helped me as much as it may have helped you. It’s gone far beyond having some free food. This is my honest and true me. I can’t put in physical terms, only mental gains for myself. I have grown with Simply Martha as she writes. Maybe I have improved slightly on the grammar and spelling (but it’s still a weakness!! Oh well I can’t do well in every aspect can I? That would be greedy).
I’ve shared my eating disorder.
I’ve shared my anxiety and depression period.
I’ve shared my journey of loneliness at university.
I’ve shared recipes.
I’ve share my realfeelings.
I am Simply, Martha. I do not try to be more.